God who I met in everyday life

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. (Hebrews 11:6)

After I was called for a missionary I started to live my community life. I was just learning step by step from my toddler as a missionary. The most common sounds to me were such as “Don’t be nervous.”, “Do not try to be too good.” and “It is a sin to be afraid of people.” I was so nervous giving my whole    strength and made people around me nervous.

One day we needed firewood to prepare for the community event. Other missionaries gathered together with axes in hands in front of a pile of woods to chop. The senior missionary started to begin with the cool firewood.

I have lived for over 30 years and have never done and used a proper ax. I was afraid when I watched the terrible ax from the side, but I thought I could do it if I was given it to me. I could have a chance.

I was a little scared and anxious but I pretended to be cool. ‘I’m good at it. I can do it.’ I gave a lot of strength and shot the ax toward the firewood, but the ax was not a firewood but a “switch” through my left shin. It was really a very dangerous moment.

After calming my surprised heart, my senior missionary explained to me about how to use ax again.

“Weaken your shoulder. All you need is the power to lift the ax over your head. Don’t try to control the ax. As you offered all of yours to the Lord, you’re one with ax and you’re just dropping it on the wood.

After listening from senior missionary I could see myself. As a first step missionary due to the burden I found my shape with ax in my hands with lots of burdens and all this was my shape. What the Lord wanted was not my zeal and the best but rather I realized the faith that I gave all myself and everything to the Lord. Later I wielded an ax for faith and I learned step by step for life of faith. After that, I learned the life of faith that gave me to the Lord step by step at a time by axing of faith.

After time flows, I am now working as a ministry to mobilize and to send missionaries. When I meet many mission devotees and field missionaries who need them, I often feel a rush of emergency. Especially when we start the new year, there are so many places that required ministry and especially busy. Then, at first, we should organize the list of the people needed for the mission and share various stories through telephone conversations and meetings.

But sometimes the strong requests of the mission and the pressure to save people until the appointed period give the missionary candidates the same pressure to go to the mission now. Rather, I was sorry to tell them that they can not do it now. As I have been through these many times, I have learned what the Lord wants to tell stories to me. “Get your shoulders down, don’t try to control it.”

I did not know that I was running to my best and hardest because I did not know my list of missionary candidates, the burden of saving people with a fixed deadline, and the thought that    I should not disappoint missionaries.

In front of me, who is looking for missionary resources to send to the mission with such urgency, the Lord sends people who were not on my missionary candidate list. When I do, my heart sinks down and I realize, ‘This is what God is doing. I did not have to use my strength.’

Today, as I did then, I am giving my faith to the Lord as a whole. And I keep learning faith again.

I am more grateful to see the Lord do what he will do, following the Lord, get rid of my strength.

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. (Hebrews 11:6) [Godspel Prayer Newspaper]

Choi Kyung Min, Missionary

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