After taking a medical treatment on back waist spine (herniated intervertebral disc) I had to have a recovering time for physical health for 6 months. Everybody in my community admits how strong I am before my operation but according to unexpected medical testing I had to start totally different new life.

As a missionary I could not do any kind of works in community. I could not serve anybody but instead I was in a situation to be being served from others. I thought of what I had done such as meal duty, labor, cleaning and any kinds of easy works which I had done easily before. I have asked myself “Do you think I can cover all these things?” and I deeply thought and started to be concerned. I thought I could serve from my heart but later it was necessary for me to admit that I could not do or help any of them.

For a little while there was an attack from my heart. ‘Are you a missionary? Are you running for ‘Revival of God’s Country and completion of Missionary’? Are you standing to be a house of prayer for all nations not for yourself? This made me to stop and not to run over.

I had laid down my life to live in the way of Jesus and under Lord’s will and I have dedicated steps and steps as a missionary to proof for gospel as Jesus’ life to save all nations. Suddenly I thought that my life which I had dedicated for glory of Jesus was not the life which Jesus should have accepted.

For recovery of body whenever doctor said to me “Don’t do it” then I always follow doctor’s commands. But I don’t feel like to achieve even one promising thing shown up out of some promising words. “these I will bring to my holy mountain and

give them joy in my house of prayer. Their burnt offerings and sacrifices will be accepted on my altar; for my house will be called a house of prayer for all nations. (Isaiah 56:7)

While in rest I have asked to Lord in the prayer room where I frequently visit and pray. “Lord, is this the house of prayer for all nations for me? No body helped and myself also could not do anything…” I felt myself reproach and compassion which I had been very ashamed. I used up all accumulated grace in me and nothing left. I was trying to find my identification as usual through my behavior and what I do.

During prayer in shouting for complete gospel I was named as a missionay but I was disillusioned to live in gospel. However at that time Lord shouted to deep in my heart like this ! ‘So I gave my son Jesus to you!’ These words were roaring in deep heart. Yes! God so loves me as a sinner and gave us his one and only son, Jesus Christ! His love is more than enough! Nobody cannot cut his love and nobody cannot take his love from me !!!

And then naturally I praised the Lord from my mouth. “Love of Jesus let me breathe. In this world, in any kind of difficulty~

Grace in Lord takes care of me and He will keep me until the end of the world~” The confession of this praise is not only impressing feelings for my pains, but more than that Jesus so loves me. The love of Son of God, Jesus Christ died for me and confessed that I will live in the life of Jesus Christ.

It was not important that what I can do any more. If Jesus is always with me forever we can go wherever and it is enough not to do anything. This love is enough and I am the house of prayer for all nations. I now believe that my prey will make all nations to be returned. Jesus sees me and he gets together with me with pains and I should follow to know him. This life is the worship and the proof.

While in a moan of pain I called for Jesus who is in me and who knows everything. Finally I obtained all. Jesus opened the way to him and to know him for everybody. Today as a house of prayer for all nations praise the love of the Lord and pray for all mankind. So let us pray for all the people who does not know the love of Jesus. “Lord, please let them know the love of Jesus. Please meet them as you met me. As long as only Jesus’ love I can confess that I will be happy to be with Jesus for all my life forever.

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