After I met the gospel, I had run in various shapes without resting for faith training and services. When I wanted to rest for a while in my tired heart, parents of students made a prayer meeting for children. It was very good news. I wanted to rest for my soul in the prayer’s place.

Even though I was not a servant but I attended to help for bi-weekly prayer meetings. After a few months already passed, some servants already changed and called me for servants.

Rather than to help at sides I would rather be with services than to help me.

One day, the service that started so we decided to have a ‘one-night and two-days’ meeting to pick a new leader. As the meeting day approached, I did not want to go as the burden of making me a leader continued to add. I wanted to avoid the position by making excuses that I could not do anything. But I could not find the right excuse to attend the meeting and I was full of the constant burden of refusing.

An unwelcome gift

After we arrived at the hostel, unpacked and on the way out for dinner I saw a big letter called “a beach resort”. After a long time I saw the beach which was so good and our burden disappeared. I ran into the night sea with a thrill. Suddenly, I heard the Lord’s voice saying ‘If you obey, I will give you a gift.’ The excitement was gone immediately. I stopped running and said to the Lord. ‘Don’t give it to me. I won’t take it. I’m not glad to receive the Lord’s gifts’ and   ‘I’m sorry.’ I said, and turned away.

The next day, we decided who to choose the leader. I wanted to avoid it, but after a lot of conversations, the atmosphere flowed toward me becoming a leader. I strongly insisted on drawing lots. But I said that if many people pulled the drawing lots, I would be picked up.

I could not hold on anymore. I did not want to come home with an unwelcome gift and do not want to be a child, but I cried with irritation.

And I endured only one semester and started to feel like another service was handed over to other mother. But each of them has reduced the number of services. He was more irritated by the Lord who did not help him, saying that it was a gift. The Lord told me that this is the place of call to irritate me. The Lord told me that this is the place of call to irritate me. And parents of students came to the school kitchen at the time allowed with their parents and led the prayer meeting.

He asked for the communication process of the community through the process of asking for what he did not ask for in the communication process with his teachers and asking for small things that seemed to be lacking judgement.

Through this time, the irritation turned into gratitude without knowing it, and at school the teachers experienced the grace of seeing how the love of the children and the Lord fights the faith.

The position that I was going to quit for one semester continue until three semesters. Still the burden remained. I prayed for the next semester leader and had a struggle with my mind, but received it with my heart to obey. But the Lord came down from the place where he thought he was familiar and gave him the heart to go down to the place where he confined God’s omnipotence to my incompetence. So the leader’s position was taken over by others.

Over time, I learned that the leader’s place was a gift from the Lord. Through that service, the Lord broadened the state of mind that was concentrated only on me through difficult times. I confess to the Lord who soaked God’s love through various passages. I love God. He did!

[The Gospel Prayer Newspaper]                                       Chung Hye Kuem

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